My Reflection of Being a Working Mom

It has been almost one year since I went back to work since having Maximus - ten months to be exact. I felt all kinds of emotions about going back to work. How will this affect my family? Is daycare the right decision for Maximus? Do I even remember how to do my job??
You see, it was never my plan to go back to work full time after having a baby. My plan was to only work part time, at least until Maximus started school. After my back injury and being off work for another eight months after my one year maternity leave, we took a pretty big financial hit which forced me to make the decision to do what was best for my family, go back to work full time.
It took awhile to get to a place where I wasn’t feeling guilty - and if 'I’m being honest with you (and myself), I still have days where I miss my son dearly and feel sadness and guilt that I’m at work and not with him.
Heading back to work at any point after having kids is hard, here’s what I learned this year:

Organization matters. Having clothes laid out and lunches and bags packed the night before makes all the difference in the morning. Personally, laying out my own outfits the night before saves me from starting at my closet in the morning, wasting time, telling myself I have nothing to wear, when clearly I have more than enough to choose from. Here’s the truth, no matter how organized you are, if you have a toddler refusing to put shoes on in the morning or wants to suddenly be independent and do it himself you’re perfectly organized morning is now a circus. Take a deep breathe and do your best to hurry things along.
Organizing meals and dinners has also made my life so much easier. Hello! My crockpot is my new best friend …and so is the drive through window, because there are definitely nights where cooking is just not going to happen no matter what my meal calendar says.

It’s never going to be perfect. Perfection is a myth. There are going to be great days when everything follows your organized plan and there are going to be days where you want to cry (and probably do) because your morning and/or night is out of control, or your child is crying when you drop them off. On those imperfect days I find comfort knowing that Maximus is learning and thriving at daycare, even if drop off is tough sometimes. He is making little friends and my heart explodes when he tells me how they play in the sand together while we drive home.

Dishes can wait. I love a clean and organized home. I rarely go to bed with a messy kitchen from dinner. But sometimes the dishes have to wait until 9pm or the next day because playing trucks and reading books or just cuddling in bed together as family is much more important.

After dinner walks are special these days. Before I had Maximus I would often go for walks. I would put my headphones on and walk - It was part of my self care. Today my walks don’t involve my favourite music. It’s me pushing a stroller. It’s spending quality time with Maximus while he points out ever single bird, dog and airplane that he sees. As he grows I can only hope that our walks become even more special.

Setting boundaries at work is important. No more staying late, no more emails after dinner or on weekends (not regularly, anyways) and I don’t bite off more than I can chew. I work hard while I am at work so that after work is dedicated time with my family. I also want to have a social life outside of work and home and setting clear boundaries to avoid burn out has allowed me do so.

After a long day, a little screen time never hurt anyone. We all have long days where we need to turn our brains off for a bit. Ten months ago I felt guilty putting on Paw Patrol for Maximus and laying down after work, like we should be doing puzzles and reading more, and I was failing Maximus. I have since realized that sometimes it’s good mentally and physically for both of us. I work hard and Maximus plays hard and learns all day, and sometime we both just need to lay down, cuddle and have a little screen time to relax.

Overall, my return to work has been successful.
Whether you’re heading back to work or you’re already a working mom, believe that you’re doing amazing! There are going to be great days where you feel like superwoman, and not so great days where you feel like you’re not able to give 100% at home or at work.
Cut yourself some slack.
This gig is a tough one.
Tomorrow is a new day, and a new opportunity.