My Thoughts On Authenticity and Guarding Your Heart

Before you go on I want to make something very clear. I don’t hate social media. I don’t hate the idea of sharing our lives with one another. I love the positive communities that form via social media - I am apart of some. I love the support that is given to those in need - I have been on the receiving and giving end of that support. What I want to do as you read this post is challenge you to think about what it is you post and more importantly, why.

Over the past few months my following on Instagram has significantly increased. To think that there are thousands of people around the world that want to follow and hear what I have to say about style, motherhood and healing is something I struggle to comprehend at times. It has also forced me to think about my platform and not only what it is that I’m sharing but why. I am thankful for each person who chooses to follow, comments and likes my posts and the opportunities that have come with that, so truly thankful.
Here’s where I get real: with the increase in followers I began to feel pressure. Pressure to be as authentic and open about my life as possible, because that is what the people want. There is a outcry for authentic people. People want to know that they are not the only ones with messy homes, children who are driving them nuts and rolls that form in their stomach when they sit down. Simply put, they want to know that it’s ok to be human and have the good with the bad days - and at times, more bad than good.

But where is the line between authenticity and oversharing?

This all came to light for me when I posted something personal and had it, for lack of a better term, thrown in my face in person. I was not ready to have an open conversation about what I had shared with someone I did not trust (and also it was brought up in an awkward and untimely manner). Thus beginning my journey to question myself and why I felt safe sharing something so personal with thousands of people if I was not willing or wanting to talk about it with someone I knew, even if they were only an acquaintance. I was okay with documenting every moment of my life, my marriage, my son and sharing it so publicly without a second thought. After conversations with trusted friends about this I found that they were finding themselves in similar situations; asking people about something posted on social media and being told they didn’t want to talk about it (with them, because it was personal). These stories, including my own, forced me to step back and re-evaluate.

I began to question myself, if I don’t share the lows of my marriage and only highlight the loving moments between Greg and I, am I not being authentic with my following? Am I a fake? (No).
If I don’t post how hard motherhood can be and that I raised my voice at Maximus and then cried out of frustration that same day, but later this week I post about how motherhood is my greatest joy, am I fraud? (Also, no).

After months of conversation, thought and some prayer, here is what was put so heavily on my heart: The Bible so clearly talks about guarding your heart. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23. As a teenager and young adult I applied this verse to my dating life; guarding who I let in and who I chose to love (and at times I did an awful job at it, but thats another story for another day). As an adult I see this verse as guard your heart; show God’s love to everyone; show kindness and compassion to everyone, but guard who you let into the sacred areas of your life because everything I do, as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter, sister, friend and employee, flows from the depths of my heart.

Talk about an ah-ha moment for me.

After a lot of thought and prayer, I personally decided to really limit sharing details about my marriage and I rarely post specifics about Maximus because those are the two most sacred things in my life and to expose intimate details was not guarding my heart and those I hold most sacred in my life.

I get it, authenticity is what is trending right now.

Where is the line between guarding your heart and the sacred parts of your life and authenticity?

To be honest, I am still personally working this question out because I truly believe there is beauty in sharing your story, and reading other stories similar to your own because it is the most incredible feeling to know you are not alone when you feel a cloud of darkness or loneliness hanging over your head. I get it.

I challenge you (and myself) today to stop, think and pray before you post anything. Ask yourself, is this sacred information? Would I want to talk about this in the middle of the street with a stranger who follows me on social media? And most importantly, am I guarding my own heart? Am I protecting my marriage and my children and who I let into those areas of my life?

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!